The prospect of a new job always signifies some sort of improvement in life. Either this job you stumbled upon (or heard about from a recruiter) has the potential to give you a higher salary, a shorter commute, a more flexible schedule, or some exciting perks that you’ve never had in any previous job before. So when you get word that the company you applied to would like to interview you, technically you’re one step closer to improving your life in some way!
But if you’re part of the majority of people who tend to stress out a bit before a job interview, you inevitably start to borderline panic. How much should you prepare? What will you wear? What if you accidentally screw it all up?
Naturally, clever Twitter users have already thought of practically every way a job interview can go sideways – so you don’t have to drive yourself crazy doing it yourself. Take a break from any trepidation you’re feeling about job interviews and check out these funny job interview tweets.
Maybe don’t emphasize your greatest strengths like this:
INTERVIEWER: whats one of ur strengths
ME: i perform well under pressure
INTERVIEWER: ok can i have an example
ME: [throwing up] im so sorry
— Bob Vulfov (@bobvulfov) June 21, 2016
HR: What's your best asset?
Me: I have an excellent memory.
HR: Give me an example.
Me: Of what?
— Super Wedgie (@permawedgie) January 12, 2015
JOB INTERVIEWER: Are you good with multitasking?
ME: Yeah I can watch a movie while looking at web sites on my phone, and also eating food
— pat tobin (@tastefactory) May 19, 2016
INTERVIEWER: what's your greatest strength?
ME: getting hired in fictional job interviews in my head
INTERVIEWER: you're hired
— Andy H. (@AndyAsAdjective) February 26, 2016
"What are your strengths?"
Me: I fall in love easily.
"Erm, okay… what are your weaknesses?"
Me: Those blue eyes of yours.
— ste(ph)en (@stephenjmolloy) June 16, 2015
Or, similarly, your greatest weaknesses:
interviewer: whats ur greatest weakness?
me: im vague
interviewer: can u elaborate?
— @buttsword (@buttsword) September 10, 2015
me: my greatest weakness is having no rigid exoskeleton. It means I can be easily stabbed
me: oh you mean like on the job
— pistol pete (@_Peter_Thompson) February 26, 2016
"You wrote here your biggest weakness is not knowing what irony means."
"Ironic isn't it? Is it? I don't know."
— David Hughes (@david8hughes) December 21, 2014
INTERVIEWER: tell me about a time you refused to compromise
— Mayor P and 11 others retweeted 3 of your tweets. (@punmagnate) May 9, 2016
Interviewer: 'So where do you see yourself in 5-years time?'
Me: 'My biggest weakness? Probably not listening properly.'
— cluedont (@cluedont) September 18, 2013
Speaking of where you see yourself in 5 years:
Next time a job interviewer asks where you see yourself in 5 years, say "Why TELL you when I can SHOW you?" then just sit there for 5 years.
— Jason (@longwall26) March 8, 2013
If only answering why you want the job could be this easy:
Job interviewer: "Why do you want to join the Secret Service?"
Me: "It's a secret."
Job interviewer: "You got the job."
— ste(ph)en (@stephenjmolloy) July 3, 2016
No one likes interviewing for positions with unrealistic expectations:
Job Interviewer: this position requires someone with 40yrs experience, Olympic medals in business, and 4 PhDs
Me: I know Word & some excel
— lawblob (@lawblob) February 23, 2015
And lastly, how to NOT end an interview:
I hate when the other guy goes for a handshake and I go for an open-mouth kiss and oh great now I probably didn't get this job
— Jeff Wysaski (@pleatedjeans) October 19, 2014